Creating Space for Your Joy

Just the other day I was reminded of a story I had heard before. It’s about how they catch monkeys. They hollow out a coconut and make a hole about the size of a monkey’s hand in one side. Then they put food inside the hollowed coconut. The monkey reaches in and grabs the food only to discover that they cannot get their clenched fist out of the hole. They are caught between wanting something so much that they won’t let go of it and being free if they just let go of the food.

It reminded me of so many times in my life that I was that monkey. I wanted to hold on to a relationship that kept me trapped into being someone I wasn’t. I wanted to keep doing everything I was already doing and add one more thing. I had this feeling that if I stopped doing something even though it no longer served me, terrible things would happen. I created a lot of monkey traps for myself.

This past week is the one week that I consistently sit down and look at what I have accomplished and not accomplished this past year. I make decisions about where I want to take my time, energy and resources for the next 365 days. This year, I made some choices that will only be possible if I stop doing other things. Those other activities, projects and practices are my metaphorical monkey trap. If I don’t let them go, I will not have enough freedom, energy and time to pursue what I really want.

I have found that rethinking what I have done in the past and discerning what I want to do in the future requires me to put some things down. If I am too busy hanging on to people, projects and unhelpful thoughts, I cannot be free to try out my new ideas. I realize that the only way to achieve what I want to achieve this year is to subtract. Some things I need to move to the back burner and some things I need to toss in the trash.

Here’s some of the things I’d like you to consider if you want to have a more fulfilling 2026.

Are there people who don’t support or uplift you that you need to move on from. Not in a dramatic blowout or big huff. But, just a quiet walk away until you are a comfortable distance from them.

Are there any habits that are wasting your time and energy that you need to stop? Something that if you stopped doing you would get back a lot of time and perhaps some creative energy.

If you could pick one thing you want to focus on for the next year what would it be? What would you need to let go of in order to create the conditions for it to happen for you? If you are already telling yourself that so and so would be disappointed if you didn’t keep doing that or you don’t have whatever you think it takes or you’ve already spent so much time or money on it- You are creating your own monkey trap.

Open your hand. Unclench your fist (and your jaw for that matter). Make space and time for whatever it is that feeds your soul. Imagine yourself with your open hands in front of you palms up. What you want can only come to you when you are ready to receive it. You’re ready. You just need to make room.