Getting There
“Canyon Walls” Acrylic on cradle panel in solid maple frame
Have you ever been on vacation and started having conversations about where you’d like to go on your next vacation? It seems that no matter how well things are going right now, we are in a constant search for something better. It seems we struggle with everything from finding new clothing, a better job, the perfect house or the right creative endeavors because we think there is something better out there. The reality is, there is something else out there. Is it better? Maybe. Would you be happier having it? Maybe. Would you be happier not having it? Maybe. Who’s to say what better is? Who’s to say what happier is?
In the constant search for my creative destination, I have the same recurring thought. I love making this. I will make this forever. I will make 100 of these. I have found my thing. My happy place. The work that will put me on the artistic map. I have arrived. Only to discover that once I have a reasonable amount of mastery in a technique, color palette, theme, design style or material, I get bored. It’s as if I went on a dream vacation and it was great for a while. Then the weather was too hot, the beach was same old same old or the favorite restaurant lost its novelty. I thought it was the perfect vacation. Until it wasn’t.
After the experience of backpacking in Utah, I had the time to reflect on this idea of reaching the top of the mountain. I trained for months and I was as prepared as possible. The days were filled with total presence and focus on every step, river crossing and staying far enough back not to get smacked in the face when you’re bushwhacking. (Lessons learned) The evenings consisted of simple meals prepared with boiling water as the key ingredient and retiring to my tent as the day’s light slipped behind the canyon walls. I had time to relax and just watch the stars appear. I also got to watch the sun come up and touch the tip of red rock canyons, then seep down to create a stunning array of colors and nuances that can only be seen in a passing moment. Once the Earth rotated one degree, it was different until it would only appear again the next day. By that time, I was gone. Moved on to another beautiful place that captivated me for a series of moments.
Like my creative pursuits, this experience was a series of moments, decisions and circumstances that could not be repeated. Even if I tried to see things the same way, they are constantly changing. Evolving. I made art quilts this way, until I did something else. I made collages and paintings in these color palettes until I wanted something different. Every piece is a collection of moments, decisions and choices that cannot be repeated. Every day is a series of moments driven by our decisions to either repeat something until we are doing it mindlessly, or choose something new and enjoy novelty.
What I have come to understand is that when we try to get “there” and find our one true happy place, we miss so much along the way. One more example from my recent trip. I was lucky enough to win the lottery and get permits to “The Wave” in Arizona. Somewhere between 1-3% of people who apply for the permit, win it. It is a 3+ mile hike through sand, deep in places, rock, sundrenched desert and rock scrambles. One of the people in our group was looking to see the wave. She raced ahead and didn’t stop to admire anything else on the way. She missed the opportunity to take in the absolutely breathtaking beauty of the landscape that ringed the way to the intended destination. I looked at everything from the wildflowers growing out of rock, to reflections in pools of water to layers of wind and water swept landforms that seemed to have been created by Dr. Seuss. And on our 3+ mile trek back to the van, she watched a movie on her phone. She missed it. A million moments of breathtaking beauty because she was focused only on the destination. Once she had seen it, she moved on to watching her phone screen.
Maybe we all do this. Instead of stopping to watch our child tie their shoe and compliment their skill, we just need to get them out the door and their accomplishment is ignored. Instead of noticing the change of colors in the trees, we just see the traffic and worry about arriving at a time we no longer control.
I’m here to remind you that no matter what it is that you are searching for, it is best not to be overly concerned with your arrival. The people you meet, the skills you learn, the sights you see and the work you put in are a gathering of moments that fill you up on the way. Once you arrive you will surely find that there is no there there. Whatever it is you were looking for, even once you find it, will not sustain you. It is a moment in the road trip. And you have so many miles to go. Enjoy the journey – so cliché. But really, if there is no there there, the journey is all we have.
I hope your life is a creative journey. Filled with ideas, experiments, experiences and moments of joy. Here is a gentle reminder that being “there” in these passing moments is the destination.
The Wave - Arizona
