Finding Magic in Your Life

What is it that you want to accomplish with your life? This question can be a real show stopper because sometimes we really don’t know. Many answers can come to mind and you think you should want these things. To get promoted at work, to raise children, to be fit and look great, to be a good… friend, spouse, parent, sibling… the list goes on.

What do all of these have in common? They are tainted with the visual cloud of what other people think you should do, or what would make you look good to other people or what might make someone else happy if you did this, or the dreaded would it impress others?

But, that wasn’t the question. What do you want to accomplish with your life? Without the input or opinion or anyone else. Disconnected from any judgement or what other people might think. Regardless of what anyone around you is striving for (because you don’t know if it’s a true calling for them or just something they think will make other people take notice.)

Here are some questions that may be helpful if you want to embark on a journey of personal fulfillment. As you work through them, see what comes up for you and if it shines a light on something you haven’t considered before.

First, take a look back at your life. Not in the form of a doctoral dissertation but, in general terms. What have you accomplished so far in your life? Anything from levels of education, skills for any activity or relationships of any kind.

I bet that list is pretty long. Which is proof that if you want to achieve something, you have already proven time and time again that you are capable. Put a big check in the belief in yourself box. You’ve already done all those things. So if you are telling yourself that you are too young, old, unskilled or incapable of something, you have already proven yourself wrong by accomplishing all the things you have already.

Moving on. So you want to do something and you know you can learn what you need to in order to realize that goal. Here are some other questions that can be a useful guide.

Sit with your thoughts and see if you can boil down what you want. Really, really want. Write it down. Say it out loud. Repeat it a few times. How does your body feel when you tell yourself these desires? A true want will feel exciting, maybe even a little scary. It will bring a smile to your face or lift your spirit at the thought of it. A false want will include how it will impress others, make someone else notice you, how it will look out there, or how it would really make your mother happy. But, it will not excite you. It will feel like an obligation or even like a burden.

Next, clarify what you want to the clearest terms you can find. I want to paint is not as helpful as I want to create landscape paintings using watercolor and paint them on location. I want to learn Italian is not as helpful as I want to travel to Italy and have enough fluency in Italian that I won’t have to rely constantly on a phone app to be understood or to understand others.

The first version of what you want might have a direction but, a clarified version will have a direction and a definition of what success looks like for you. It gives you a place to go and a point where you feel you have arrived.

I strongly encourage writing these ideas down and reading them aloud to yourself. When you hear it and see it at the same time, it either activates your motivation or puts on the brakes and lets you know that that isn’t quite right.

How will realizing this goal feel for you? Ultimately, if you set out to do something and then you work toward accomplishing it when you meet with success, you grow your self-worth, self-respect and sense of pride in yourself. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of your accomplishment.

Along the way, you may run into a few negative beliefs. I’ll never be able to do this, achieve this, realize this or be successful in this quest. Write these down and say them aloud. This might sound counterintuitive but, when you shine a light on the unhelpful things that rattle around in your head, they begin to sound absurd. Because as you have already determined, you can accomplish lots of things so you can also accomplish this goal. Remember all the things you’ve done already. You’re living proof in your capacity for growth.

Celebrate every small step to make. You bought the paint, picked the location, picked out a sketchbook, read the blog, watched the video, whatever you do to move you along your path - see it for what it is - A WIN!

When things don’t go as planned (and that is something you should know going in - not everything goes smoothly all the time.) be nice to yourself about it and let it go. We live our lives with enough baggage from other people, don’t add rocks to your suitcase when you are trying to move along on your journey.

How will you create the circumstances to make your desire possible? But the language program? the art supplies? read the book? When will you create the time to invest in your desire? On the weekend? after work hours? after dinner? These real nuts and bolts are the difference between a wish and a plan.

If you haven’t already seen my video about time and place. Here it is as a refresher.

How will this benefit my life? Consider that everything we learn applies to something that perhaps we didn’t expect. As a twenty-five year classroom teacher, I fielded the question “Why do we have to know this?” so many times. I had some stories for my students around this question and basically, it comes down to this. If you learn something that you consider useless at the time, there may come a moment where that knowledge can save your life, your relationship, your sanity or your most valuable resource, time.

Get clear on how this goal is a benefit for you. After all, with time at a premium who want so invest time in something that makes life harder, sadder or less fulfilling. If your goal brings you peace and happiness, that’s awesome. If it brings you abundance in any form, also amazing. If it builds your self-confidence it allows you to try more things and grow even more. I don’t see a losing side to pursuing what brings good things to you.

Here’s that last thing I want you to consider about this subject. Can you pursue this goal and let go of trying to control how you accomplish it? If you are so focused on making the landscape painting that you miss the feeling of sunshine on your face, the breeze in your hair or the song of birds around you, you may make a wonderful painting. But, you will have missed the magic that was all around you in the process.

Have a goal is awesome. Preparing and working toward achieving it builds confidence. Realizing your vision is fantastic. However, noticing the small bits of magic and serendipity that accompany your every step is what makes it worth your effort. You are magic and all the other magic wants to make friends with you. Let it.